kingofkoopas asked: What?! No! I was busy being grouchy!
“How can you be busy being—
“Never mind, semantics. Aren’t you always grumpy?”
That was going to earn him a punch in the face.
“Call me Sonic! Sonic the Hedgehog.” He laughed and tugged at his gloves, trying to feel as easy as he sounded, with all that was going on. “Say, I think I’ve seen y’around before. From those Olympic games, all the banners and flashin’ lights. The kiddo and I went to those a couple times.”
Oh, but what’s his name? C’mon, c’mon, c’mon… He tapped his foot in silence, then snapped his fingers as the lightbulb came on. “Luigi, right?” But if he doesn’t recognize me in the first place, it probably doesn’t make much difference. He doesn’t know who I am…
“What Olympic games? I never went to any.”
In fact, he seldom went outside the castle at all. This rodent must’ve gone completely mad.
“… At least someone knows my name. And isn’t about to make a quip that the L stands for ‘loser’. That’s an improvement over half of the hero and villain types alike.” He didn’t realize how pathetic that sounded until after he said it, and he coughed, not wanting to drop his masculinity. Which was practically nonexistent. Better hold onto the strands as much as possible. “So, you’re a troubled teen just like me. Guh-reat. I needed more drama in my life.”
“But…” None of this made sense. How could Luigi just turn evil? Sure, there was Mr. L bugging the crap out of her for a kiss, but not this one.
Daisy had no clue about the Yoshi’s Island incident. She had always imagined that both Mario and Luigi were born and raised in… Brooklyn, was it? Then, they came to the Mushroom Kingdom and met up with her and Peach, and the whole gang followed suit. So how was he raised with Bowser? Bowser wasn’t born in Brooklyn.
She knew that he next question was stupid. He was Luigi, but… !!
But he wasn’t her Luigi.
“I know you’re Luigi, but… Who are you!?”
Ah, well, finally a question that he could answer. Luigi laced his fingers together as he tried to figure out how to start it off. That would be a lot to explain.
“Okay…” he drawled. “Picture this. Big dark scary castle, okay? Earliest memory — a baby Bowser dragging me around, demanding that I play with him. Kamek’s pouring over his books for some reason or other, didn’t understand at the time, and I just grew up with the big bad bugga bugga. You with me here? So, apparently Kamek found me somewhere, but I’m not sure where, and he took me in when I was just a tot and took care of me that way.” His eyes rolled back as he remembered being carried, having that collar clasped around his neck (it was too loose), and then having to spend every waking moment with Bowser the demanding turtle. How big his life had become.
“I was taught how to be evil from them, you see,” he continued. “But I’ve always been such a wimp, so Bowser’s been trying to beat it out of me. Like, literally.” He winced. “Not that he’s a bad brother, no. Just… overbearing. Anyway, I’ve stayed with them and tried to be the best villain I could be, because that’s the only way I know, right? And I’ve learned about hero types over time, too. Sometimes, that path sounds more appealing, but I’d rather stick with what I know.
“I haven’t done any big gigs yet.” That I haven’t screwed up royally, anyway. “So don’t worry, the whole kingdom taking over thing was all Bowser. I didn’t really have much involvement in it at all.”
thenobleredplumber asked: Luigi?! What's-a going on here?!
“YOU TELL ME. I’M NO LESS CONFUSED THAN YOU ARE.”
kingofkoopas asked: What the?! Another Luigi?!
“I AM NOT ‘ANOTHER’ LUIGI! I’VE ALWAYS BEEN THE ONLY LUIGI I AM LUIGI I AM LUIGI!”
He took a pause, then, when he realized who he was talking to.
“… Wait, Bowser? Weren’t you just having a tea party with Peach?”
itswaluigitimeagain asked: Another Green Loser? Heh! No matter Waluigi will pick on you anyway!
“Why are you referring to yourself in the third person that went out of style years ago.”
thenobleredplumber asked: Who are-a you and-a why are you-a picking on-a my brother?
Oh, no. No. NOT THIS GUY.
“YOU!”
SHITTACOS WHY WAS THIS FAKER HERE.
That very same hero, icky sweet, who kicked his face in earlier, SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT—
And he didn’t remember him. Luigi nearly faceplanted.
“IT’S LUIGI! THE NAME. IS. LUIGI! And what the heck are you talking about, your brother!?”
onceremovedwouldbe replied to your post: Why don’t you just break it off with the lady and make off with Shadow? Dexter seems pretty interested… Amy’s pretty clingy anyways. And she can be kind of a bitch.
“I’d go with the lady. More you can do with her than the guy. And you’re less likely to be beat up. Well, okay, that’s a lie — you might be slapped around just a LITTLE bit.”“‘Beat up’? What’s that supposed t’mean? Shad wouldn’t hurt a fly…”
Oh but is he talking about—
His face flushed a little, a combination of anger and a little embarrassment. “Ey, that’s not what this is all about, y’hear? I ain’t that kinda guy t’just…”
(her soft lips the way her hair falls on her shoulders bodies close)
“…use ’em…”
(his strong hold my arms around him steady breathing easy tempo close)
“…like that.” He shook his head and scratched the back of his neck. It’s hard enough as it is, all the way around the board.
“Oh, so Shad’s the guy then, I’m guessing.”
He stretched his limbs, looking Sonic over for a minute before shrugging. “Nah, you don’t seem like the type to, I agree. You’re a hero type. Hero types don’t do that kind of thing.”
Villains don’t always do that, either. Bowser kind of uses the princess, sure, but he’s always careful with her. Still, I’m pretty sure it’s a big invasion of privacy stealing all her panties…
“But you’re thinking about it, aren’t you? It’s impossible not to. There’s gotta be something that attracts you to them and it can’t just be their personalities. Personalities are nice and all but they don’t hold water if they’re all they have. With everyone being all appearance-based, personality only simply isn’t interesting. You gotta have more.”
thegreatandhandsomewario asked: Another Scaredy-cat? HA! what a joke you seem like you're trying to act tough!
“And you seem to get off of taunting sidekicks. What has your life amounted to, huh? At least I’m trying to do something productive when I get out there.”
theshygreenplumber asked: Impostor?! I'm not the one Obeying Bowser!
“Technically I’m not obeying him, imbecile. He’s on the same level as me; we’re both princes for the Dark Kingdom. The one who I’m actually obeying is Kamek.
“And there’s a reason for that. He took care of me. I think I owe him at least something.”
