I'm Luigi!

What?! No! I was busy being grouchy!

Mon, 28 May 2012 12:56:00 -0700

“How can you be busy being—

“Never mind, semantics. Aren’t you always grumpy?”

That was going to earn him a punch in the face.

So wait... a blue... thing with spikes just followed me.

Mon, 28 May 2012 12:54:46 -0700

“Call me Sonic! Sonic the Hedgehog.” He laughed and tugged at his gloves, trying to feel as easy as he sounded, with all that was going on. “Say, I think I’ve seen y’around before. From those Olympic games, all the banners and flashin’ lights. The kiddo and I went to those a couple times.”

Oh, but what’s his name? C’mon, c’mon, c’mon… He tapped his foot in silence, then snapped his fingers as the lightbulb came on. “Luigi, right?” But if he doesn’t recognize me in the first place, it probably doesn’t make much difference. He doesn’t know who I am…

“What Olympic games? I never went to any.”

In fact, he seldom went outside the castle at all. This rodent must’ve gone completely mad.

“… At least someone knows my name. And isn’t about to make a quip that the L stands for ‘loser’. That’s an improvement over half of the hero and villain types alike.” He didn’t realize how pathetic that sounded until after he said it, and he coughed, not wanting to drop his masculinity. Which was practically nonexistent. Better hold onto the strands as much as possible. “So, you’re a troubled teen just like me. Guh-reat. I needed more drama in my life.”

princessofsarasaland: “But…” None of this made sense. How could Luigi just turn evil? Sure, there...

Mon, 28 May 2012 12:50:30 -0700

princessofsarasaland:

“But…” None of this made sense. How could Luigi just turn evil? Sure, there was Mr. L bugging the crap out of her for a kiss, but not this one.

Daisy had no clue about the Yoshi’s Island incident. She had always imagined that both Mario and Luigi were born and raised in… Brooklyn, was it? Then, they came to the Mushroom Kingdom and met up with her and Peach, and the whole gang followed suit. So how was he raised with Bowser? Bowser wasn’t born in Brooklyn.

She knew that he next question was stupid. He was Luigi, but… !!

But he wasn’t her Luigi.

“I know you’re Luigi, but… Who are you!?”

Ah, well, finally a question that he could answer. Luigi laced his fingers together as he tried to figure out how to start it off. That would be a lot to explain.

“Okay…” he drawled. “Picture this. Big dark scary castle, okay? Earliest memory — a baby Bowser dragging me around, demanding that I play with him. Kamek’s pouring over his books for some reason or other, didn’t understand at the time, and I just grew up with the big bad bugga bugga. You with me here? So, apparently Kamek found me somewhere, but I’m not sure where, and he took me in when I was just a tot and took care of me that way.” His eyes rolled back as he remembered being carried, having that collar clasped around his neck (it was too loose), and then having to spend every waking moment with Bowser the demanding turtle. How big his life had become.

“I was taught how to be evil from them, you see,” he continued. “But I’ve always been such a wimp, so Bowser’s been trying to beat it out of me. Like, literally.” He winced. “Not that he’s a bad brother, no. Just… overbearing. Anyway, I’ve stayed with them and tried to be the best villain I could be, because that’s the only way I know, right? And I’ve learned about hero types over time, too. Sometimes, that path sounds more appealing, but I’d rather stick with what I know.

“I haven’t done any big gigs yet.” That I haven’t screwed up royally, anyway. “So don’t worry, the whole kingdom taking over thing was all Bowser. I didn’t really have much involvement in it at all.”

Luigi?! What's-a going on here?!

Mon, 28 May 2012 12:45:00 -0700

“YOU TELL ME. I’M NO LESS CONFUSED THAN YOU ARE.”

What the?! Another Luigi?!

Mon, 28 May 2012 12:44:00 -0700

“I AM NOT ‘ANOTHER’ LUIGI! I’VE ALWAYS BEEN THE ONLY LUIGI I AM LUIGI I AM LUIGI!”

He took a pause, then, when he realized who he was talking to.

“… Wait, Bowser? Weren’t you just having a tea party with Peach?”

Another Green Loser? Heh! No matter Waluigi will pick on you anyway!

Mon, 28 May 2012 12:42:00 -0700

“Why are you referring to yourself in the third person that went out of style years ago.”

Who are-a you and-a why are you-a picking on-a my brother?

Mon, 28 May 2012 12:39:00 -0700

Oh, no. No. NOT THIS GUY.

“YOU!”

SHITTACOS WHY WAS THIS FAKER HERE.

That very same hero, icky sweet, who kicked his face in earlier, SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT—

And he didn’t remember him. Luigi nearly faceplanted.

“IT’S LUIGI! THE NAME. IS. LUIGI! And what the heck are you talking about, your brother!?”

theheroliveson: onceremovedwouldbe replied to your post: Why don’t you just break it off with the...

Mon, 28 May 2012 12:34:26 -0700

theheroliveson:

onceremovedwouldbe replied to your post: Why don’t you just break it off with the lady and make off with Shadow? Dexter seems pretty interested… Amy’s pretty clingy anyways. And she can be kind of a bitch.

“I’d go with the lady. More you can do with her than the guy. And you’re less likely to be beat up. Well, okay, that’s a lie — you might be slapped around just a LITTLE bit.”

“‘Beat up’? What’s that supposed t’mean? Shad wouldn’t hurt a fly…”

Oh but is he talking about—

His face flushed a little, a combination of anger and a little embarrassment. “Ey, that’s not what this is all about, y’hear? I ain’t that kinda guy t’just…”

(her soft lips the way her hair falls on her shoulders bodies close)

“…use ’em…”

(his strong hold my arms around him steady breathing easy tempo close)

“…like that.” He shook his head and scratched the back of his neck. It’s hard enough as it is, all the way around the board.

“Oh, so Shad’s the guy then, I’m guessing.”

He stretched his limbs, looking Sonic over for a minute before shrugging. “Nah, you don’t seem like the type to, I agree. You’re a hero type. Hero types don’t do that kind of thing.”

Villains don’t always do that, either. Bowser kind of uses the princess, sure, but he’s always careful with her. Still, I’m pretty sure it’s a big invasion of privacy stealing all her panties…

“But you’re thinking about it, aren’t you? It’s impossible not to. There’s gotta be something that attracts you to them and it can’t just be their personalities. Personalities are nice and all but they don’t hold water if they’re all they have. With everyone being all appearance-based, personality only simply isn’t interesting. You gotta have more.”

Another Scaredy-cat? HA! what a joke you seem like you're trying to act tough!

Mon, 28 May 2012 12:29:05 -0700

“And you seem to get off of taunting sidekicks. What has your life amounted to, huh? At least I’m trying to do something productive when I get out there.”

Impostor?! I'm not the one Obeying Bowser!

Mon, 28 May 2012 12:27:00 -0700

“Technically I’m not obeying him, imbecile. He’s on the same level as me; we’re both princes for the Dark Kingdom. The one who I’m actually obeying is Kamek.

“And there’s a reason for that. He took care of me. I think I owe him at least something.”

princessofsarasaland: At this, Daisy narrows her eyebrows and rests her hands on her hips; the sass...

Mon, 28 May 2012 12:25:05 -0700

princessofsarasaland:

At this, Daisy narrows her eyebrows and rests her hands on her hips; the sass machine.

“Did you hit your head or something? Because you’re not Bowser’s brother, and you hate him. And don’t try to tell me that you’re not Luigi, because I’d know that mustachioed man from a mile away.”

“I never said I wasn’t Luigi, toots. The L on my hat does stand for something, and it’s not ‘loser’.”

Luigi’s not about to back down to a girl, no way. He’s tough as nails. Or at least, Bowser wants him to be, and he’s not going to let him down, no sir.

“I’m not technically Bowser’s brother, no, but I grew up with him. Kamek takes care of the both of us. Where’d you get these silly ideas in your head that it’s otherwise?

“After all… I don’t remember having ever met you.”

theheroliveson: onceremovedwouldbe replied to your post: You kinda seem like a manslut… “You’re...

Mon, 28 May 2012 12:21:40 -0700

theheroliveson:

onceremovedwouldbe replied to your post: You kinda seem like a manslut…

“You’re not even a man. I mean, wouldn’t you technically be a hedgeslut or something?”

“Er, I think that’s beside the point…” His ears lowered slightly, eyes averting to the ground. What a great way t’wake up in the morning…

“No, no, I think it’s completely relevant.”

“Semantics are the very things that screw you over in newspapers and people make you into a laughing stock of the whole town if you’re not one hundred percent comPLEEETely accurate.”

Luigi was just pulling at his chain at this point. He knew what Sonic meant.

Wah! Another me!?

Mon, 28 May 2012 12:19:00 -0700

“…

“… Hello…”

“IMPOSTOR.”

princessofsarasaland: “What? Bowser? But I thought you were against… Luigi, what are you going on...

Mon, 28 May 2012 12:16:23 -0700

princessofsarasaland:

“What? Bowser? But I thought you were against… Luigi, what are you going on about?”

“… I think we’re both confused, because I’ve been with Bowser since I was a tot. He’s my brother.”

Welp.

princessofsarasaland: onceremovedwouldbe replied to your post “Why the long face?” Him! You!...

Mon, 28 May 2012 12:11:29 -0700

princessofsarasaland:

onceremovedwouldbe replied to your post

“Why the long face?”

Him! You! Luigi—! I know him? Er…

“It’s too quiet around here.”

“Ah, my sympathies. I would like to agree with you on my end, but quite frankly I like it when it’s quiet. It means Bowser isn’t screaming in my ear about how the princess is his or whatever.”

So wait... a blue... thing with spikes just followed me.

Mon, 28 May 2012 12:09:38 -0700

“Look, I know I don’t get out much, but come on.”

Photo

Mon, 28 May 2012 12:06:59 -0700

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE INANIMATE OBJECT?

Mon, 28 May 2012 12:03:30 -0700

“Considering I don’t own anything, I guess the clothes I’m wearing.”